I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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