it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
