I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
be right there i have to get my cape
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
