I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
