I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
