So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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