Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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