so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
