That's intense
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
