Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
