quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
