I think I am morally bankrupt
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
