So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
