Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
