I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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