we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
