Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
