we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
