I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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