It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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