if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
