I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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