I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
