4 words: hood of his car
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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