Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
