You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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