Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
