I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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