no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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