she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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