Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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