ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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