Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
