Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
