I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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