I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was confusing and full of hummus
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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