I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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