Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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