I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
