Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize