im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
