you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
