Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
