We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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