my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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