He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
