I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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