? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
