Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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