He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
