i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Terrible idea I love it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
