Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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