Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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