i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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