did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Congratulations! We have a period
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
