I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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