It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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