is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
