why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
