flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
