seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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