some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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