He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
