it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I understand Curling. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
