Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
