this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
