hotel room ftw
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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