i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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